So I guess there is no way to deny it. That's right. I overcame a great obstacle and adversity in my childhood. I was a friend of Borepatch growing up. And miraculously, I turned out OK! Well, at least I am gainfully employed. All right, I am an attorney, but we occasionally really do work.
As for the reference to the minor incident involving Gulflite and the loss of Borepatch's eyebrows, it was entirely due to his bad judgment and therefore his fault. I will claim some credit for innovation, though, because the story involves ten year old boys using lighter fluid to burn little green army men. And that was decades before Toy Story stole it. (I am still considering a lawsuit against Pixar, but then I would have to admit to being "Sid" as a child.) To make a fairly simple story shorter (though for the past forty years Borepatch has tended to draw the tale out at every opportunity), it happens that a half full can of lighter fluid, placed just right over a flame, turns into one dandy flame thrower (kids, please do not try this at home or you may never hear the end of it). Ergo, the whole thing was entirely Borepatch's fault: he was stupid enough to play with me when I had a half full can of Gulflite and an open flame. I rest my case.
Thankfully, I can get some solace from the fact that I will at some point no longer need to listen to this old worn out yarn because Borepatch is much older than me and will continue to be his whole life. So I'm sure he will pass before I. Except for that whole only the good die young thing...
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